Walking Through Grief

For those of you who know me you know my journey over the past 4 plus years has been a difficult one. Moving to South Carolina after Carly’s passing was the best thing Tony and I could do, starting in a new community, new scenery and never having to shovel through a snowstorm- we were there!

While building our home in Moss Creek we rented a house in another community a few miles away, never really unpacking but enjoying getting to know The Low Country and helping Linus adjust to “southern grass”. Yes I did have to lay towels from the patio to the backyard covering pine straw because he refused to step in it.

One Saturday evening about a month after our move Tony and I were sitting on the back patio enjoying a glass of wine and talking when a couple appeared in our backyard. “Is this the house where the surprise party is?” asked a bubbly petite (and so cute) woman standing next to her  husband. “No, I said but you are welcome to join us” I told them. Small talk turned into a not so chance meeting with the project manager of our new house and his wife who stumbled into the wrong yard. Yes, Lou works for H2 Builders and had just been assigned to our build. “Where are you from?” Karen asked. NJ was the answer for all of us and right there we became friends and have a special friendship with our first SC friends.

Fast forward two years; we are in our new home happily settling in. One year already in our house we are busy every day. Golf, boating and being chapter leader of Helping Parents Heal has kept us busy. (and did I mention the company? awesome keep coming people).

One morning on Face Book I see that Karen has posted a heartbreaking post, her friends Heidi and Kristen have  joined the group no parent wants to join. Their beloved 14-year-old daughter Grace died in a car accident. I prayed for them, for their families and asked the almighty to give them strength to make it through the days, weeks and lifetime ahead of them. I contacted Karen and asked her to put me in touch with these parents when Karen thought the time was right.

I met Heidi a few months later, Kristen and I met soon after. They are now members of our chapter of Helping Parents Heal, an amazing group of us navigating life with our children in the Afterlife.

Heidi and I started walking together in the afternoons when Heidi finishes work. I give this woman  (and of course Kristen) so much credit for getting up everyday and facing life without Grace’s physical presence . We walk for miles throughout Moss Creek, finding new trails daily (It is a community almost 100 miles in size). We walk in the sunshine, through the clouds, pounding the pavement, one of us alway talking incessantly . We speak of death in different terms than most, knowing now that death is the end of our physical bodies only. We talk of books we read, videos we watch and of our new lives.  I am the cheerleader most days, offering hope since I am 3 years further in this grief journey. I tell my stories of signs and synchronicities, encounters with others ( on this earth and  those no longer here) I encourage her to get through another day, to find the hope and to connect with her precious daughter. Lately she has become a cheerleader as well, helping me through some difficult days. It has been such a blessing to walk here with my new friend, looking over the marsh and enjoying nature. Connecting with another soul who is also on this journey has made such a difference in my life. I am amazed how connected I now feel, connected to this new life of mine with so many gifts and so much to be grateful for.

We have both come so far and still have so far to go. Perhaps you would like to join us as we walk through grief together?